The Feel Bad Movie of Your Life
Nights like tonight make me wonder what I’m doing. I miss too many things and too many people to feel functional. I’m sick of not fixing the things I need to fix…instead leaving them in pieces to go do something else. I feel like a parasite …just taking and never seeing fit to give any of myself. I miss the foreign city. I miss burying my pot.
I miss nights ending in bedrooms instead of bars …I want to smell the air through a screen over a window…to sit on a bed and say something worth saying instead of making jokes that aren’t worth their weight in winter breath. I feel unimpressive in a town where everyone looks the part. This is dumb. I want to change a thing worth changing, not something worth leaving there to rot.
Just another pair of pajama pants …and a cloudy head to apologize to my best friend for dragging him along on my attempts to feel young and better about myself. We are the most worthwhile men I know…and we will forever be products of an inability to properly function socially. We never needed it. We were just always good being the way we’ll be.
Goodnight to the dark …bring on the sunrise. Credits attached to the movie of your life.
