Anonymous asked: i saw this movie dont go into the woods. and its basically a horror movie musical. its so great. have you seen it?

I haven’t, but after seeing that Vincent D’Onofrio directed it, I’m adding it to my queue. I’m a big horror/sci-fi person. I just watched In Fear last night, and can’t wait for Under the Skin to come on demand.

Anyone have any good horror-movie stories? When Child’s Play 2 came out, I think I was about 5 years old …huge advertisement for it on the way to/from my grandparents house. I used to cover my face with a Super Mario Bros blanket for the whole ride, asking if we’d passed the billboard over and over. When they finally took it down, my relief was short-lived as, in a matter of months, the same billboard became a giant poster in the Blockbuster Video down the street. After seeing it and promptly shitting, I didn’t go with my mom to pick out movies to rent for almost a year. Just waited in the car.

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Anonymous asked: hey dude. you're pretty rad.

oh hai, anon. thanks! lets do a q&a here - that’d be rad. anyone have Atticus: Dragging the Lake? Anyone recently see any cool horror movies? what’s happening Tumblr? Is poetry dead?

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hey - so first of all, RIP Ultimate Warrior. Second, this is a poem about how much I used to love compliation CDs and the movie Empire Records

@NickOrsini on Twitter

Buy my books here!

Watch the new trailer for my third book, The Mega

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Watching Saturday Night Live.


She tells me that she misses Heath Ledger

and sings “Sugar High” from Empire

Records. There are never enough people

in the world that know the best songs word-

for-word. We want to cope with our dreams,

but we’re too busy robbing HomeGoods-

matching our apartment’s color scheme.

I whisper through a cigarette that I’ll feel

fragile until the end like the window on

New Year’s that broke when I snuck

that liquor in. Wasn’t that another life-

when adrenaline gave meaning to every

vice. Now I’m thirty and sleep has

started hurting, but they got my number

so I’ll autopay the price. I write her name

in frosting, even years after she left. Funny

how fleeting it is to be sugar high again.

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Here’s a trailer for The Mega, my brand new book coming out so soon. Music is “Twin Sized Mattress” by The Front Bottoms

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@NickOrsini …follow me!

On the day your sister got married,

I got fired via email. As she walked

down the aisle, arm-in-arm with

your father, I felt like every plush

animal that has ever slept alone.

The worth of a thousand dollars

is buried in Sleepy Hollow-

Just a headstone with

one date: May 10th, 2008. It

never died or quite lived, just

looked with spotted vision at

a generation through the dirt.

An Iron Chef prepares my lunch-

I recognize him from TV. As long

as I have stories, my parents stay

proud of me. So I told myself the

tallest story of them all - it was

about a loser, inflated with cement,

who saw the world in moments

before crashing down again.

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C-Town on 12th Street.


The devil pushed a cart through C-Town,

admiring all the ways to die. And at the

self-checkout he scanned every other item-

a generous penny-pinching lie. The parking

lot seagulls picked at fortunate rot, as they

churned in a flock thick enough to block

the last dusk in Newark. The world revolves

in a circle of drug-store caps, hitting the

hammer and pretending to pass, just a few

gurgles and child’s hand on a chest. So we

are concave, incapable of seeing the end.

They talk about C-Town around piles still

blazing long after the news vans deemed

it a story worth chasing. And the seagulls

still look for a handout of filth, just untainted

pieces for a mouthful of wealth. The devil

returned to his seat far below, with a bag of

six souls, though he only scanned four.

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A Short Stint in the City


I’m stuck reading back issues of The Source and wishing I was born in 1982. The only golden years are the years you miss because you’re getting handjobs at the town pool. And sometimes the high dive leaves you a hero of youth and sometimes it leaves you paralyzed too.

The Pontiac broke down after ten years of service, three sound systems, and one too-high speed bump in the Burger King drive-thru. No one will suffer like us, or at least that’s how it felt when we junked it in June.

And kings always come back, dead or alive. So we left for video-game cities, controlling disasters with clicks and sixteen-bit design. I was talking to a stranger about what makes people so cruel, and he told me “That is a lifetime of pain wrapped in years, or days or, in one case, just an afternoon.”

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My First Paycheck

tweet at me

Someone spray painted “legalize everything”

across the bridge I pass over every morning

on the train. A brand ambassador tweets

that he has racist thoughts when he’s alone.

So we drag him through the mud and

kick him out of our loving homes. The PR firm

that pays me roughly every fifteen days

asks me to draft a release that starts,

"People don’t always mean what they say."

My words are breaking news and people

call it an apology for the ages. If only they

knew it was written by a kid living in a

Brooklyn basement. Years ago, I had a

dream while I slept in my college’s radio

station. I was a spore without direction.

What a feeling to be carried miles

between feathers on a wing, or walked

through a metropolis between arm hair

and young skin. I awoke with all the same

aches, in my back and down my legs- the

same gut I had neglected thinking there

must be more important things. I wrote

"legalize everything" on my square cap

with masking tape. Never thinking that

reminders could still find me on the train.

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a poem I wrote about trying to get home on the PATH train and all the weird things I think about while “commuting”

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